Mind the Gap

In London's underground stations you hear a mechanized voice say, "Mind the Gap", as you board a tube train. That "gap" between platform and train is usually quite small and as a tourist, after the novelty wears off, you take for granted the need to watch your step and the recording simply becomes one of those endearing facets of the London experience.

Neil Gaiman, in his book, "Neverwhere", artfully creates a more sinister reason for "minding the gap" in his fantasy story about London above ground and the London below. The "gap" no longer is a small precautionary hazard but one of lethal danger as an invisible cloud-like substance rises out of the crack, wrapping itself around the ankles of its targeted and unsuspecting traveler, ready to drag him into oblivion.

It is easy to develop complacency about the gaps that occur in our lives. Most of them are simply little daily obstacles we step over. But sometimes, those gaps take on the proportions of huge chasms, larger than life and so threatening that we remain rooted in place, stranded on the station platform while the train moves out. The "gap" has become insurmountable, a hollow place empty of inspiration and motivation, a place that threatens to swallow us up in mediocrity and depression.

What creates the difference between a small gap we easily step over and one that literally sucks out our motivation, confidence, and energy? Usually it is our interpretation and perception.

Our emotional responses to life are a result of our beliefs about ourself and the world. We form a string of thoughts that reflect that belief and then act upon them. When you hear yourself saying "I can't" or "there is nothing I can do about this situation", follow the thread of thoughts to the underlying belief. Challenge that belief. Who said you can't? How do you know there is nothing you can do? Who says there is only one way to do things? Distorted beliefs about one's worth and ability can take a tiny gap and make it into a huge chasm of doubt, fear, and anxiety, freezing us in place.

We make the choices that determine what we do. We have the ability to choose our responses to life. When we accept our circumstances, we are free to explore new options enabling new choices. We are responsible for our responses to all life situations. Challenging outdated, limiting and sometimes destructive thoughts and beliefs enable us to find new ways to move forward. Without challenging our thoughts and beliefs, our feelings will direct our behaviors. If we feel it is impossible, then it becomes impossible for us.
Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC